itesser ink: progress, uncensored

I am steeling myself to do an awful, awful thing this morning.

I'm letting go of all the 330 blog posts that have accumulated in the past month and I have not been able to read. This is after I swept another 400 under the rug after moving to CA a few weeks ago.

Is it awful that it hurts me to do this? Is it more awful that I let myself do this?

Moments ago I told a friend that I hate throwing anything away, and skipping over posts of very insightful and creative people feels like throwing away information. I have pack rat tenancies, but frequent moving curtails the physical manifestation, but does nothing to stop the desire for information acquisition.

I stand in a river of sensation, doing my best to take in as much as I can, feeding my conscious mind and my morning voices. When my back is to the river as I go about Other Things, the dam I have built to catch the thoughts, that I might wade through them anon, can sometimes fail and overflow. I know the missed ideas are out there, within my ability to chase them down and feel the way they tickle my senses and sensibilities, but as I do, the dam is e'er filling again.

The past weeks have been very busy and very not. Some days I have vast reserves of will power, some days I have none. Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies.

Closing cosmic comment, until things come around again.