itesser ink: progress, uncensored

My old everywhere-sketchbook is full, and in it's place I've taken to carrying around a Memoranda book Reagan was issued sometime during his training. (Firefox doesn't recognize "Memoranda" as a word, but it's clearly printed on the front of this federally supplied notebook.)

In any case, I ripped out parts of the first 5 pages that R had written on. Nothing interesting was lost or remains, but it's a way to keep the source intact and still be able to find the beginning of my own scrawlings.

It's mostly lines of poetry and story ideas based on things I read. None of that is fit for public consumption, but there is something I'm willing to share. In one of my writing magazines there was a short humor article about the two sentence biographies that follow articles in most publications. I started writing some of my own to have on hand in case I forget how to blurb myself between now and becoming a real published writer.

Annie Rush...
... (assuming that is her real name) hails from next door (as long as you live in a suburb), but spends all her time writing in a moving car. Her husband does the driving, of course.

... is a pseudonym adopted from her cats. They dictate her short stories and articles, but she's on her own for the poetry.

... started writing at age six, stopped at age nine, and has been rehashing those ideas ever since. She has no sense of humor.

... and her self description will never fit into this space, much as her feet will never fit into that perfect pair of Mary Janes she had in the third grade.

... mixes metaphors for your enjoyment every Tuesday at her basement comedy club. Please tip your waitresses and mail carriers.

... would like to level with you. She's only good at writing, so take a look at her novel: Spreading It Out in a Nutcase.

... was born a girl, grew up a bear, grew into a jackal. She is now a young adult author.

... is the real-life inspiration for Nancy Drew. She gave up detecting adventures to sit at home, chew pens, and, occasionally, write.

.... can't decide if she would rather read everything or write everything. People keep sneaking off with her ideas, so it will likely be the former.

What's your blurb?